Respect, love & a complement

by Nov 28, 2019

We all have our days where we feel down or just empty. Especially, in autumn and winter when the leaves start to fall from the trees. When it’s getting colder and darker outside. We have to wear warm thick clothes in which we feel like everything but sexy. When we leave the house to go to work it’s dark and once we return back home it’s already dark again. Every downfall is magnified in this time of year. The only thing that seems to be fun during these seasons are the holidays. So, especially during these days we can use a complement.

I’m still unemployed which doesn’t contribute to my self-esteem or my mood. Finding a job in marketing/communication is very hard. Having a disability makes it even harder.

A few days ago, I was very VERY grumpy. Not only because I felt like a failure because I still hadn’t succeed to find a job and having financial struggles. Also because I felt lonely, misunderstood, not accepted and very insecure. I’m not the type of person who can stay home for days because that makes me feel even more useless. I try to go out every day even it’s just to run some errands.

So, I visited a friend of mine at his work in a clothing store an old man approached me. Most people who approach me in my neighborhood seem very weird and make me feel like they want something from me. That’s why I ignore most of them. But this time, I was in my friends’ store so what could possibly go wrong? the man seemed very polite, though.

He started with: ‘’Excuse me miss, can I have a word with you?’’. First, I thought ‘’uh yeah, again, what now?’’ instead, I said ‘’Yes, off course’’. He continued ‘’I just wanted to say that you’re a beautiful woman.’’. I was a little surprised that he just gave me a nice complement without any ulterior motives . Later, I started to feel more happy and appreciated. My grumpiness faded in a split second. It really made my day. So, I said ‘’Well, thank you sir. That really made my day!’’. He continued once again ‘’Yeah, I see you a lot around here. I always wanted to tell you that but you drive so fast. I don’t even have a chance.’’. Haha, yep, that’s me. Driving fast so no one can approach me because most of the times I don’t know how to respond.

Don’t wait for people to be friendly, show them how.

Receiving one complement can make someone’s day. We’re living in a world where everything is about looks, status, social media followers etc. We forget to be nice to one another. In The Netherlands, during this time of year, there’s a huge discussion going on about Black Pete. Every year it’s getting worse and worse. Discussion is good and there’s always room for improvement. But, we forget to show some empathy, lose respect and stop seeing beyond someone’s emotions and feelings.

What if we just start being more nice to each other? Tell more people that they’re beautiful, that we respect them for who they are, that we like the shirt they’re wearing for example. We can make someone’s day so much better with just giving a complement. I think we should be more acting with our hearts and be more nice. Let’s starts with questioning ourselves ‘’How would I want to be treated?’’. Would you feel hurt if someone bullies you? Off course you would! Would you like to be treated with respect? Hell, yeah!

Be the type of person you want to meet.

Now, I’m not a saint. I can me annoyed by someone and be sometimes too rude.  The older I get the more I start thinking about being a better and wiser person. And I just wish people would show more empathy and have more respect towards one another. In discussions, we don’t always have to agree, we can just agree to disagree and move on.

‘till next time
~ Ashley Sharon


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