Fatherlessness

Father’s day: for the ones who don’t have a father

Father’s day is around the corner and I see a lot of blogposts, commercials and special sales for father’s day. Those all ignore the feelings of those who don’t have got a father. I’m one of those persons and I am telling you that I really hate father’s day.

Either you lost your father by passing away or just because he’s left you, this day can be very heavy for you. I’m talking now about father’s day but off course this goes for mother’s day as well.

For some of us Father’s day scratches open old scars. I don’t have happy memories of my father. Actually, I don’t have any memory of him. I don’t really know what he is like, what he does or how he looks and I don’t even know his birthday. He left me when I was 3 or 4 and he doesn’t want to see me. Why? I really don’t know. For a girl, a father should be her first love. He is the first man in her life and if that first man in her life hurts her in her early years it can really define the woman she’ll become.

Growing up without a father and being rejected by him several times was very hurtful to me. Being the only one in primary school to create something for father’s day without anyone to give to is one of the worst memories I have. I eventually gave it to my granddad but it wasn’t my father. I felt misunderstood and that made me feel like I was the only girl in the world without a father.

A daughter should never have to beg her father for a relationship.

Statistics of fatherlessness

Did I come out badly? No. But I know that there are lots of people growing up fatherless or motherless who end up in badly. For example, children of single-parent homes are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.

Statistics says that adolescents who grew up in non-intact families are more likely to engage in delinquency than their peers living in intact families. This is based on differences in family processes-parental involvement, supervision, monitoring and parent-child closeness. A study from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health explored the relationship between family structure and risk of violent acts in neighborhoods. The study revealed that if the number of fathers is low in a neighborhood, then there is an increase of acts of teen violence. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states that fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. And another source states that there significantly more drug use among children living in a single-parent home.

Another statistical fact is that 71% of high school dropouts is fatherless. Those children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics and thinking skills. Children from fatherless homes are more likely to be truant from school, to be excluded from school and more likely to leave school at their sixteens. They are less like to attain academic and professional qualifications in adulthood.

For more information see the website of fathers.com

A father is a sons first hero and a daughters first love.

Fatherlessness

Growing up without a father made me a very strong independent woman. I know I can handle things my own and not needing anybody. On the other hand it made me very shy and insecure towards men. I can be very distant and thinking that a man can’t love me because if my father can’t how can an outsider do so? My father let me down and was never there when I needed him. He doesn’t even know what’s my life has been like. He never gave me an explanation why he did what he did.

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men.

This post is for the ones who have a hard time during father’s day. Father’s day is not a universal holiday and doesn’t apply to every father. Not everyone is having the same happy memories about their fathers. So let’s not make everyone celebrate this day and let’s not ever generalize all dads.

This one is for everyone who doesn’t celebrate Father’s day and to the ones who avoid it because it brings up painful memories: you’re still standing and survived without a father. Keep going. You’ll get there and you don’t need anyone. Don’t feel bad for being you and be happy that you’re still living your life even though you had to get through many hard times. And let’s all have more comprehension for the ones who are dealing with fatherlessness.

Do you celebrate Father’s or Mother’s day? How do you feel about it? Let me know in the comments.

‘till next time!
Xoxo
~ Ashley Sharon

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